Dear Little Man,

This Saturday will be the last day you spend with our family, I knew this day would come, it always does, but my heart aches at the thought.  You have grown so much within the past eleven months, you entered our house hardly a toddler, not walking and only saying a few select words.  Now you are almost two, running around and talking in full sentences!

I'm going to miss you Little Man, more then you will ever know, already I can feel my heart breaking.  I'll miss your toothy grin.  I'll miss hearing your belly laugh ring throughout the house.  I'll miss the tender, slobbery kisses you give and the way you say "I love you".  I'll miss hearing your quick pitter patter of feet.  I'll miss seeing your face light up when you see me first thing in the morning.  And I'll miss having you snuggle/hug my leg while I do the dishes.  

You are embarking on a new chapter of life,  within the span of almost two years you have encountered many hardships.  I pray you will never experience anything like that for the rest of your life.  I pray you experience childhood to the fullest of the full.  I pray your new family will guide you up to be a honorable Man of character.  And I pray that someday, you will come to know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

Your sweet kisses and toothy grins will stop, but my prayers will continue.

Love you "baby blue" to the moon and back.

Dish Duty

On one particular night last week, it was just Fairygirl, Littleman and myself at home.  Dinner was wrapping up, Fairygirl was in tears because she didn't want her vegetables, Littleman was ready to roam free, the dishes were waiting and I still had to study for finals.

Fairygirl, finally, ate some veggies, Littleman went running to destroy the toys and I was frazzled.  I felt like the world was on my shoulders, I had to keep an eye and ear open to what the two little kiddos were doing, the dishes and table still needed my attention, and I was freaking out about my many finals, my anxiety was running high to say the least.

I was ready to give up, but God came to rescue, like He always does.  God calls us to leave a legacy on this earth, and I want nothing else, I long to leave a mark that will last longer than my life.  I get it into my head sometimes that only amazing, note-worthy things make a difference.  Working in the inner city or living in Africa is only note-worthy.  God showed me other wise, leaving a mark can look like crawling on all fours cleaning up dinner crumbs, it can look like cleaning Littleman's stinky diaper, or doing the dishes when it's not my turn.  Making a difference doesn't need to be confined.  

Sometimes the things that leave a mark aren't glamorous to the human eye, but to God they hold value.  No one thinks much of it, or even notices, but God does.  When we move the focus off ourselves and onto others, when we start looking to fulfill other's needs before our own, and when we start thinking how we can honor God and other's before ourselves, that's when we start leaving a legacy.

I've noticed that when I'm loving others, and serving them before myself, I find true happiness.  Not just surface level happiness, but happiness that sprouts deep in my soul.  A deep happiness can not be found when we focus on ourselves, but rather when we focus others!

I started off the night focusing on myself, on what I needed to do before tomorrow, how I wished others were home, totally focusing on myself.  God worked on my attitude, He moved my focus off myself and onto others, replacing my anxiety with His peace.

Photo Challenge, "Favorite Photo From February"

One of my favorite memories from February, going for Saturday morning walks.  We had such unseasonably warm weather that our walks were actually enjoyable and no tears were shed!

Hop on over to The Paper Mama to check out some other favorite February photos.

Is this really February??

Seriously, when I saw the lovely sunshine this morning; there was no doubt in my mind, we were going for a walk.   It may have only been in the high 30s, but it felt like spring.

I am now ready for spring.

Oh Little Man,

  You hold a special place in my heart.  Your mischievous toothy little grin, the way you nestle your head in my legs when you want up, your slobbery big kisses given in pure love.

   The time is coming when those little smiles, and slobbery kisses will be no more.  So I hug you longer, love you harder, kiss you often and pray diligently for you.

  You are loved, make no mistake about that.

Tomorrow is Christmas

Today's Christmas Eve!!  Hard to believe it's here already, seems like just yesterday I was standing in line on Black Friday outside of Target.  

This season I'm trying not to get caught up in the hustle and bustle, instead focus on my family and create new memories along the way.  Sometimes they may drive me a little stir crazy, but then I remember this too will be just a distant memory soon. 

Next year I could be away at a University instead of studying local, not able to fully live life with them day in and out.  The little moments when Fairygirl tells me she doesn't want me to ever get married, but be her big sister forever.

Whispered conversations with Soccergirl about boys at midnight, wouldn't be possible through Skype.

And morning belly laughs with Littleman can't happen away at College.

The time will come when I will go away to College, but not now.  Instead I'm going to soak up every moment I can, including Christmas Eve; tonight when we dawn our new Christmas pajamas, my heart may ache but at the same time, thankful for extra time spent together.

Christmas sprinkles {photo overload}

This weekend sugar cookies were made!

Nothing says Christmas like the smell of fresh sugar cookies 

Little Man was entranced, so many yummy things to eat!

Fairygirl was very meticulous about decorating her lovely cookies. 

Good start to the Christmas season!

Our Christmas tree went up this afternoon, only problem, our lights ran out.  We now have a half lit tree in our family room.

sunshine paradise

Hello beach, thank you for coming out sunshine you have been missed.

Fairygirl spotted those pink goggles and they never left her face the whole day.  Love that girl silly.

Littleman wasn't quite sure about the water at first.  But as the day continued on his love fascination with water evolved.

A sand castle made for a princess was attempted.

Even after we got back to the cottage, we were still finding sand on this little guy.

Hello great lake, you're always a little on the chilly side.  But it wouldn't be vacation without you.

Wish you could see Littleman's face.  He loves flying high in the sky

The Littleman Sand man, enough said :) 

My view for the afternoon, a good book, content and contained baby, and Fairygirl and Mom's making memories.  

Perfect day at the beach! 

be still my beating heart

I'm falling for this little guy, I can already feel my heart breaking.  There wasn't any really connection between us before, but that has all been changed.  Before vacation I had work and school consuming my time and energy.  When I would arrive home I was taped of all possible energy and I'd wake up the following day and do it all again.  With vacation 

i was able to actually engage with Little Man more, more then I ever was able to before.    

The sweet little guy who blows kisses, who says boo with his hands over his eyes, who has captured my heart.  I now pray extra hard for him and his future.  I don't know where it will be, but I pray that love and Christ are at the center of his home.

4th of July recap

Our fourth of July wasn't just one day of events, but more like a whole weekend of relaxing and spending time with family and friends.  Here are some of the highlights of our 4th!

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Fairygirl loved our friend's pool, it was her first time in water above her head so the little ducky quickly became her friend! 

Soccergirl trying her best to stay cool in the shade while we had our picnic lunch

We had some heat for the 4th but with a nice cool lemonade in hand it was bearable

Littleman really likes music, he's a man of many different genres of music and always ready to dance.

Fairygirl was a very excited little girl, she had music to dance to and ice cream to eat!

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We tried to make a heart shape out of sparklers and as you can see it didn't quite work

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but we had better luck with a start shape :)

as with every good 4th of July, our day ended with blankets and fireworks!

I hope everyone enjoyed their 4th of July as much as my family did!  Can't believe it was almost a week ago, summer is going fast!

*** these pictures were taken by this lovely. Yes I put my water mark on them but that's just for my family's safety.  If you don't follow her blog you are missing out!!

summer fun

Yesterday we went to our local fireworks which is the essence of summer!  Warm sunshine on my back, family laughter surrounding me and a picnic dinner!

Here are just a few of some of the pictures that helped capture our summer fireworks of 2011! 

couldn't have asked for a better night

Little Man loves flying high!

when I see this picture I think summer

Fairygirl loves getting her picture taken

kettle corn!!  The only thing my family buys at the fireworks.

the new little man

On June 8th we got a phone call for a foster care placement and we opened our home once again.  The Little Man is now apart of our family.  Do we know how long he will be apart of this family?  Are we looking to adopt this sweet blue eyed boy?  The answer to both of those questions is no, truly we're just leaving it up to God at this point. 
When we get a new little face, who is longing to be loved, my heart breaks.  I love them with every fiber of my being, but deep down in my heart I know it won't last.  Sooner or later goodbyes must be said.  But forever they are apart of who I am.

Don't get me wrong, there are moments when Fairygirl and Little Man are screaming at the dinner table and I wonder what we have done!  But these moments of crazy are moments that will be looked back upon with fondness.

Without further ado... here is Little Man

He is all boy for sure.  Loves to play with balls and goes crazy when he sees one! (like above)

His little toothy grin

I think I'm melting

love those cheeks, love those big blue eyes

Well as you can see our family is loving on Little Man hard!  Easy to see why.