On one particular night last week, it was just Fairygirl, Littleman and myself at home. Dinner was wrapping up, Fairygirl was in tears because she didn't want her vegetables, Littleman was ready to roam free, the dishes were waiting and I still had to study for finals.
Fairygirl, finally, ate some veggies, Littleman went running to destroy the toys and I was frazzled. I felt like the world was on my shoulders, I had to keep an eye and ear open to what the two little kiddos were doing, the dishes and table still needed my attention, and I was freaking out about my many finals, my anxiety was running high to say the least.
I was ready to give up, but God came to rescue, like He always does. God calls us to leave a legacy on this earth, and I want nothing else, I long to leave a mark that will last longer than my life. I get it into my head sometimes that only amazing, note-worthy things make a difference. Working in the inner city or living in Africa is only note-worthy. God showed me other wise, leaving a mark can look like crawling on all fours cleaning up dinner crumbs, it can look like cleaning Littleman's stinky diaper, or doing the dishes when it's not my turn. Making a difference doesn't need to be confined.
Sometimes the things that leave a mark aren't glamorous to the human eye, but to God they hold value. No one thinks much of it, or even notices, but God does. When we move the focus off ourselves and onto others, when we start looking to fulfill other's needs before our own, and when we start thinking how we can honor God and other's before ourselves, that's when we start leaving a legacy.
I've noticed that when I'm loving others, and serving them before myself, I find true happiness. Not just surface level happiness, but happiness that sprouts deep in my soul. A deep happiness can not be found when we focus on ourselves, but rather when we focus others!
I started off the night focusing on myself, on what I needed to do before tomorrow, how I wished others were home, totally focusing on myself. God worked on my attitude, He moved my focus off myself and onto others, replacing my anxiety with His peace.