August 2, 2012

To Have and To Hold


His blue eyes locked on mine and I was caught.

It started out as a juvenile mutual crush, and like any crush it didn't last long; He moved on, the only problem was, I didn't.  Like any love struck, young teenage girl, I started adding his last name onto mine (many folders were covered with it) , I knew what our wedding would look like (country feel but still modern), and what our children's names would be (all my dolls had a name, middle name and His last name) .... Looking back, I might have been just a little obsessed.

I knew so very little about this Boy, and yet He became my everything.  I started building Him up in my mind, so much so that the Boy I created in my head was nothing like the real Boy at all, in a sense I created my own imaginary boyfriend.   

My every thought started to become consumed by Him.  if I knew I'd see Him that day I would spend extra time thinking and planning what I would wear and what I would say (if by chance He decided to talk to me).  He started to become my idol, I started spending more time thinking about Him then anyone else.

God started to slip in my priorities because of this non-igsistant Guy.  God was still working within my life don't get me wrong, but I wasn't spending enough time in the Word getting to know my Creator better.  I wasn't investing in my relationship as I should have been, thankfully that still didn't stop God from investing in me.

I was only fourteen and my heart was His, we never held hands, or shared a kiss and yet I had freely given him my heart, while He had done nothing.  There was no physical connection but my heart was His, He had my heart at His despoil and He didn't even know it.

As any young teenager, I didn't realize what a valuable gift I was freely giving Him, my heart is one of a kind.  Proverbs 4:23 specifically states, "guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."  Everything I do, everything I am all originates in my heart.

There is Someone who will treasure my heart, protect it from harm and love me without holding anything back.  God loves me more then any human possibly can, now that I have realized just how special and one of a kind my heart is I'm entrusting it to Him.  He never lets you down.

Here's to childhood crushes that teach you about life and love.

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