The Girls

  The girls journey with my family has ended, they were with us for almost four days, roughly ninety-six hours (yes i can do math.)  We had them for less then a week, and when they left a lump still formed in my throat and my heart started aching.

  I love and hate foster care all at the same time.  I love how my world has become bigger, how I've learned to live and love openly.  Because of foster care I now have a deep passion for the inner city, I am who I am today largely because of our involvement in foster care.

   

  At the end of the day though I know the placement won't last forever, in the end I know the goodbyes must be said, that's when I hate foster care.  I hate saying goodbye, I hate closing that chapter, I hate knowing I won't get to see them grow and explore more of life.  When my family started foster care we knew goodbyes would be coming, our mission was to provide a safe and loving environment for the here and now.  But It still hurts none the less when they leave.

  Even after all that, the love still outweighs the heartbreak.  Foster care isn't easy, but like so many things, the best in life isn't always the easiest.  I wouldn't trade being a foster sister for anything, fully giving myself to another, expecting nothing in return and experiencing a new, richer of love as a result.     

Double

Last evening, three month old twins temporarily joined our family.  Our family consists of two parents, two teenage girls, a grandma and a four (almost five) year old, which is why this situation is only temporary.  

So yeah, that's the latest and greatest around my house!

Dear Little Man,

This Saturday will be the last day you spend with our family, I knew this day would come, it always does, but my heart aches at the thought.  You have grown so much within the past eleven months, you entered our house hardly a toddler, not walking and only saying a few select words.  Now you are almost two, running around and talking in full sentences!

I'm going to miss you Little Man, more then you will ever know, already I can feel my heart breaking.  I'll miss your toothy grin.  I'll miss hearing your belly laugh ring throughout the house.  I'll miss the tender, slobbery kisses you give and the way you say "I love you".  I'll miss hearing your quick pitter patter of feet.  I'll miss seeing your face light up when you see me first thing in the morning.  And I'll miss having you snuggle/hug my leg while I do the dishes.  

You are embarking on a new chapter of life,  within the span of almost two years you have encountered many hardships.  I pray you will never experience anything like that for the rest of your life.  I pray you experience childhood to the fullest of the full.  I pray your new family will guide you up to be a honorable Man of character.  And I pray that someday, you will come to know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

Your sweet kisses and toothy grins will stop, but my prayers will continue.

Love you "baby blue" to the moon and back.

Oh Little Man,

  You hold a special place in my heart.  Your mischievous toothy little grin, the way you nestle your head in my legs when you want up, your slobbery big kisses given in pure love.

   The time is coming when those little smiles, and slobbery kisses will be no more.  So I hug you longer, love you harder, kiss you often and pray diligently for you.

  You are loved, make no mistake about that.

the new little man

On June 8th we got a phone call for a foster care placement and we opened our home once again.  The Little Man is now apart of our family.  Do we know how long he will be apart of this family?  Are we looking to adopt this sweet blue eyed boy?  The answer to both of those questions is no, truly we're just leaving it up to God at this point. 
When we get a new little face, who is longing to be loved, my heart breaks.  I love them with every fiber of my being, but deep down in my heart I know it won't last.  Sooner or later goodbyes must be said.  But forever they are apart of who I am.

Don't get me wrong, there are moments when Fairygirl and Little Man are screaming at the dinner table and I wonder what we have done!  But these moments of crazy are moments that will be looked back upon with fondness.

Without further ado... here is Little Man

He is all boy for sure.  Loves to play with balls and goes crazy when he sees one! (like above)

His little toothy grin

I think I'm melting

love those cheeks, love those big blue eyes

Well as you can see our family is loving on Little Man hard!  Easy to see why.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart

Today my dear, you are 6 years old.  Hard to believe.  I remember when you first came into this family, you were so quite, drawn into your shell of protection. Longing to be loved and held.  My heart aches to hold you, love you again.  Hear your sweet voice floating to my ear asking me to come play with you.  Or see your curly hair bouncing to beat of the music as you would break out dancing.  I miss you sister.  You were so full of life, hope and joy.  I hope and pray you still are. 

We only had you for a short time but they are forever hidden away in my heart.  I take them out occasionally, and think of you.  Happy 6th birthday sweety.  I pray for you daily, hoping that some day you will find Him.  He will love you always.  Miss you.  Thinking of you.  Happy birthday!